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Pardon the Replacements
It's summertime and I'm living through my TV.

Which means a healthy daily dose of Pardon the Interuption cohosted by Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon...or not.

From time to time one or the other of my two favorite cohosts have prior engagements or vacation time due. And during these times, when the sputtering Bob Ryans and huggable Dan LeBatards sit in, we get a taste of what life could have been like and it makes us appreciate the norm.

Even when the always enjoyable Screamin A. Smith fills in, the best I can say is that its an interesting change of pace. These episodes are splattered across the canvas of the season, and they aren't perfect, but like the advertising creatives at Walgreens said, we don't live anywhere near perfect.

When half of the dynamic duo is missing, it just isn't the same, but I don't mean to imply that it is necessarily awful. But for at least one week during the summer both Tony and WillyBuns take off for vacation at the same time...And it is simply terrible.

This year, for the entire week, Stephen A is for Apple Smith and Skip Bailiff? take opposite sides of the desk and force feed sports news to the diehard PTI fans who are just crazy enough to sit through their arguments...well not so much arguments as statements slathered with exclamation points. They both agree with each other on most topics but get their points across in the most deliberate sentences and emphatic tones I have ever seen on television.

whats this game called? I WIN!


So, because I'm in PTI withdrawal, c'mon boys and girls, it's time for heads on sticks.

Alright Dan, who am I?
You're Michael Wilbon, vacationing cohost of PTI.

Ok Dan, who am I?
You're Tony Kornheiser, vacationing cohost of PTI...

Tony Kornheiser : Get ready Wilbon, it's time for your favorite.

Michael Wilbon : Oh God, more YANKS and SAWX. So big boy, David Ortiz was suspended for throwing a couple of bats at some umpires, he's appealing the suspension and able to play until the ruling, in which time he's helping the SAWX try to turn things around, this ok by you?

TK : This is fine by me, the better the Red Sox play the better the heat in the rivalry between them and the Yankees.

MW : Did you even watch the series this weekend, you think those two teams need more heat?

TK : Yankees/Red Sox is a great rivalry, and excitement just seems to find these two teams when they face off, and who benefits most by all this excitement, Major League Baseball and your BOY Bud.

MW : Not everyone cares about YANKS/SAWX. However, David Ortiz is still playing, Tony, the bat incident was two weeks ago, Whats YOUR BOY Bud thinking?

TK : You know what I think, I think Bud Selig, the commisioner of Baseball, knows that the league needs the New York/Boston rivalry. Baseball is still enjoying the popularity boost from last years playoffs, but what two teams were a big part of last years playoffs...

MW : The Chicago Cubs.

TK : And The Yanks and the Sox. To keep the good times rolling, the league conspired to keep Ortiz available for the Yankees series, and purposely delayed handing down the suspension to Ortiz, until a week after the incident, because they knew Ortiz would appeal and be able to play against the Yankees this past weekend.

MW : Conspired? As in Conspiracy? Are you nuts? This is like all that talk that the NBA had a conspiracy to give the Lakers the title, that dopes like you slobbered all over because you need stars in the big game. If it's not all about the stars you go to bed before the game starts.

TK : You sat here on this set and discussed the possibility of this past weekends series being a little less interesting than normal, neither Pedro Martinez for Boston or Javier Vazquez for NY was pitching because the way the rotation schedules fell. Neither was Tim Wakefield who has pitched great againt the Yankees. Jason Giambi is in and out of the lineup with illness, and Kevin Brown and Mike Mussina are hurt and Derek Jeter is playing with a broken bone in his hand.

MW : Both teams were equally depleted, and as long as people like you get excited by the rivarly, it doesn't matter.

TK : But you agreed with me last week that this weekend's series would be less interesting than normal.

MW : I never said that. Check the Tape. Anyway, you weren't bored were you?

TK : But taking Ortiz out of the series would have just added to what could have been a boring series. Ortiz is a Yankee killer, he is having a great year and always has great numbers against New York. There was chance the series could have been jsut a little flat. A week ago you look at the game two starters, Bronson Arroyo and Tanyon Sturtze, and what else are you supposed to think...Now granted that game was a heated battle, including the brawl that started between Arod and Varitek.

MW : I'm tired of this Yanks/SAWX garbage.
danwho kissed you on the nose on 07.29.04 @ 12:27 AM [link]

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